Monday, February 4, 2008

" I'm stuck in the middle with you..."

I feel like I am stuck in a place where I don't want to be or maybe, where I don't know how to be.

Part 1: We are still living with my parents (six months and counting) and will probably be here until the summer at least. While I love my family it is just so stressful for me to have to live here. I am in desperate need of my own space to have some control over. My parents were gone for the weekend and we had the house to ourselves. Let me tell you, I was so much more relaxed and less stressed.

Part 2: The people that do the licensing for teachers still have yet to get Evan his substitute license. While Evan reminded me that it has only been three weeks or so, it feels like forever. He has been at home, jobless, since the middle of December. That is a long time for us to just be sitting around the house...together. When he was working I felt like I had a routine and some purpose for my days. Now I just feel like I am wasting my precious moments to television and sitting. I can't stand it.

Part 3: Evan has applied at many International schools and has gotten many responses in the negative. He doesn't have the two years of teaching experience that every school wants. We have however heard favorably from Sekolah Pelita Harapan, a Christian school in Indonesia. They have looked over Evan's application, checked his references and are now wanting to schedule an interview. If he were to get the job he would be teaching Economics to grades 11 and 12.

It is just so hard to continue waiting and hoping and being scared. What if they say no? We have been trying not to get our hopes up, but it is a little bit difficult. What if they say yes? We will be embarking on a huge, scary adventure. Plus there is the fact that I am having a baby in Indonesia? I know that the Lord is directing all of this to whatever His will is, it is just getting so hard to wait. I don't know how to live my life in the waiting process. It seems like everything is at a standstill and there are just so many unknowns.

Lord give me patience and wisdom to know what to be doing now while I wait.

1 comment:

Amanda said...

wow jess...that's a lot to be unsure about. i'll be praying for you guys, for sure. it's so crazy to be in this place where you really have no idea where God's going to take you next -it could be here, or indonesia! wow.